


Love is Equal

by Of_Princes_and_Savages



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Adoption, F/M, Family, Feelings, I have a lot of feelings about Monica but this is Chandler's POV, Infertility, Ross is a terrible brother and friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-14 16:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_Princes_and_Savages/pseuds/Of_Princes_and_Savages
Summary: Chandler likes maintaining Monica. Sometimes she needs a little more maintenance than usual, though, and telling her parents they're adopting is one of those times, and Ross' "support" shows him something to keep in mind later on.





	Love is Equal

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Friends fic, it takes place just a little after Monica and Chandler are told they can't have children.

Chandler had never been particularly desperate for his parents approval, probably because the approval of two people who'd gotten in a catfight over a pearl necklace and matching earrings in divorce proceedings wasn't something anybody needed, really. And he was very passive, so he had mostly just accepted that being part of Monica's life meant maintaining her sanity when her mother showed up, which was an aspect of marriage he'd been too marriage-phobic to consider before.

Usually Monica stressed out in one of two ways. The easy way was when she'd take a bag of chips or a carton of ice cream or something like that, opening it up, and then stopping herself from eating it and stuffing it back where it came from repeating, _"I'm not eating my emotions, I'm not eating my emotions, I'm not eating my emotions"_ , two or three times until someone distracted her. Asking her if he should reorganize his ties or something, or asking if she was feeling lucky before starting a game of tic-tac-toe usually did the trick.

She'd gone the other way, though, by stress-cleaning every inch of the apartment. He'd been at work most of the day, but came home to lemon-scented cleaner and floor wax wafting into the hall and found the door chained and locked to keep everyone out. Monica let him in with half an aplogy before she told him to go make their bed up with fresh sheets.

"Because we'll be eating dinner on the bed?"

"Chandler, honey," Monica had taken his hands in her always-surprisingly-strong grip and looked him in the eyes. "I love you, I want to grow old with you. But telling my mother I'm barren is going to be the hardest thing I've ever told her and jokes are not going to help clean the apartment!"

Her grip had tightened until he had a slight fear over broken bones, and blinked. "Can...I help you?"

"Maybe," her voice was small, and she swiped a can off the table before turning back to him. "Do you remember when I taught you how to use Pledge?"

"Spray it on a cloth before rubbing down the furniture?"

"Love you. Do all the tables, tops and legs," Monica ordered, pressing a grateful kiss to his cheek.

* * *

They had decided, ( _Monica decided_ ,) that having a face-to-face conversation would be ideal as opposed to over the phone about the new plan, being adoption. Trying not to set herself up for failure, Monica had clarified over the phone that she'd needed to talk to them about something and she was not pregnant. They'd set everything up for tonight, and that's where it all began falling apart.

Ross had gotten himself invited because he thought "family dinner" meant he was invited. He promised to help support Monica, though, so she adjusted the portions and let it slide. Chandler was busy staying out the way, trying not to cause extra strife for Monica, so he hadn't seen the waiting disaster on the horizon until it was too late. Monica hadn't wanted to lead her parents into thinking she'd invited them over to hear they could expect Grandchild #3 in a matter of months, which seemed smart at the time, but unfortunately they'd forgot Grandchild #2 was now living right across the hall.

To his credit, Ross didn't go over, kidnap Emma, and bring her back right when his parents arrived. It wasn't his fault Judy Geller waited exactly five minutes before asking Ross about his career and hanging onto every word, giving a polite "how nice" to Monica trying to talk about her new position at Javu. Jack Geller had tried to include Monica by asking if they gave family discounts, because Jack Geller was where Ross and Monica inherited come of their weird quirks like having to fill in an awkward pause. Like the pause that followed, as they were discussing Chandler's new job in advertising, when Ross dropped:

"Hey, I'd have quit too if they were making me stay in Tulsa," Ross added. "That was the right choice, even if it took awhile to figure out where to go."

Chandler didn't even need to look at Monica to know she was sending him a death stare. He didn't necessarily want Ross to die, himself, but he did try to telepathically communicated that he was as dumb as a sack of rocks for bringing up both that Chandler quit, but had been jobless for a length of time. _In front of his wife's parents._

"I see." Judy said blandly. "Well. I suppose it was a good thing after all that you kept working after you got married, Monica."

"What about coupons?" Jack asked. "Do they have coupons? Or discounts of any kind?"

That hiccup wasn't the first, and Chandler wondered if Monica was regretting the decision to allow Ross along after all. Because his second hiccup made their news a hell of a lot harder to put down, but Ross probably hadn't noticed. He'd talked all about his career and had moved on to his kids by now, bragging about Emma's first word and how she was going to be a scientist when she grew up. Monica didn't quite look like she was about to cry, but she was almost bending the fork in her grasp when she forcefully said, "Well how about dessert?" to try and cut Ross off.

"I remember Ross's first word," Judy sighed happily. "He said 'darri'."

Chandler blinked. "So...he was asking for dairy?"

"No, 'darri', you know, like _darling_ ," Ross explained. "Mom and Nana used to call me that a lot. Like 'are you hungry, darling?' or 'all clean, darling!' My second was 'mama' though."

Monica cleared her throat. "Right. Um. Ross?"

"Now our little Harmonica's first word was 'agon', that was a devil to figure out," Jack added. "Eventually we figured it out, because she only said it when she finished eating. All gone!"

"I guess first words say a lot about babies," Ross chuckled, and Chandler reached over to hold Monica's hand before she hurt herself. Or Ross. Probably Ross.

"Hey, uh, Ross? Remember that thing we needed your support to tell your parents?" he asked, getting a blank stare. "Maybe stop being so supportive there, buddy?"

"Please." Monica bit off, and Ross grimaced.

"Oh. Right..."

Her parents now turned their full attention on their daughter. And Monica released her death-grip on the fork in favor of grabbing onto Chandler's hand. God his wife was strong.

"Mom. Dad. We, um," she cleared her throat. "You know I've always wanted to be a mother. That's...that's why I couldn't tell you about this over the phone. Why you had to hear it from us..."

Judy looked directly at Chandler, then to her husband. "Uh-huh...well. We did warn you, sweetheart, when you said you'd started seeing him-"

Monica's face turned red. "He's not gay!"

"Well, after Carol...and to be fair, after meeting _Mister_ Bing-"

"Mom, c'mon." Ross cut in. "That's not fair to Chandler, alright, he's nothing like his dad is. And even if he was gay-"

"Not! Gay!" Chandler threw his free hand up. "What the hell Ross?"

"What? I'm trying to help-"

"Stop helping! Stop it!" Monica hissed.

"Honey," Judy said addressing her, voice dropping slightly. "Even if you're having troubles with your marriage, your chances start declining after you're thirty, you know, you don't have that much time left."

Monica fell silent, her mouth hanging open.

Jack, more supportively, gave his daughter a well-meaning smile. "Don't you worry, we had trouble concieving too. But then we had Ross, and then after that, we had our little Harmonica! These things just happen when they happen. Maybe you could see somebody to get some help?"

Chandler felt the tight grip Monica had on his hand slacken, and she still didn't say anything. She'd gone rather pale actually. Okay. Time to be straightforward: "Yeah, about that...we actually saw a doctor awhile ago. And it turns out...that having our own kids isn't likely to happen for us."

The silence took on a stifling quality, after that. Chandler preferred to keep his eyes on his wife, now, and her eyes had dropped to her plate. Her parents weren't saying anything. It was one of those moments that threatened to hang on forever, and unsurprisingly, now that they _did_ need help, Ross could only poke at the food left on his plate in the middle of the stifling silence.

"This chicken's really good, Mon..."

Judy's fork clinked against the plate as she set it down. "When you say it isn't likely, what do you mean by that?"

"Well, um..." Chandler found the woman had a nigh-unreadable expression on her face. "Well. We both have some issues, with the...the stuff involved with conception and carrying."

"Oh."

Monica swallowed. "Oh?"

"Oh." Judy repeated thoughtfully. "I see."

A secondary silence started, lasting three deep breaths before Ross stood up suddenly. "You know, uh," he set his napkin down. "I think, um, I think I'm gonna go next door and check up on Em-Yeah. I'm gonna go, good luck guys."

"Thanks for the support Ross," Chandler huffed at the other man's back as the door shut behind it. _Crap_.

* * *

Her parents stuck around for a few minutes longer. Monica started forming sentences again, looking more shaken than Chandler had ever seen her, even at the prospect of not having their own children. And her parents didn't quite seem to get that "not likely" meant "not likely" at all. Monica's temper had begun to fray as they repeatedly reminded her that Ross was a medical miracle they'd concieved when they thought they would be childless. Chandler had been the one to suggest that they give them a minute alone, which effectively sent Jack and Judy across the hall to visit Emma.

Monica probably saw that as his fault, come to think of it. Not long after the door closed, she'd jumped up and started aggressively packing up the leftovers without saying anything. He wasn't fond of having Monica angry at him, but it might be kinder on the porkchops she was slinging into a Tupperware container.

"Monica..."

"I'm not mad."

Chandler sensed a trap. "Okay..."

"I _am_ mad," she confessed not a beat later. "But not at you. You didn't do anything I can be mad at."

"Okay..."

Monica slammed the tupperware down on the counter and spun around. "It's not fair! It's just-It's not fair! Ross sees Ben maybe twice a month now, he knocked up Rachel on accident well after they were divorced, his _third_ divorce, and meanwhile, me? I picked out names for my children when I was fourteen, I broke up with Richard because we had different opinions on the subject, when you said you were ready to have children with me at last, I knew I'd made the right choice in marrying you!"

Chandler almost said something along the lines of _"only then?"_   but refrained. Barely. Instead he opted for, "And I still want to raise a child with you, sweetheart, that hasn't changed."

"But I can't have a baby! My mother is across the hall right now, fawning over a granddaughter, and I'm here barren and terrified that-" Monica snapped her mouth shut, swiftly. "It's not fair. That's all."

Chandler thought back over the evening. Monica originally, now that he thought about it, had not wanted to have Ross over. She'd told him point blank it was going to go from being a frank conversation about how she and her husband were adopting because they couldn't have their own kids, to All About Ross if he was there. Pretty prophetic, really, Chandler should probably remember that in case this kind of situation came up again. It would really suck to have to tell her parents she was dying of a rare disease after Ross bragged about being a keynote speaker at DinoCon 2004 or whatever. Actually now that he was thinking about it...

"Monica," he gingerly put a hand on her arm, tugging her closer. "Are you afraid your parents aren't going to see an adopted child as their grandchild?"

"No."

"Are you worried they're going to love you less now?"

"No..."

"Do you know I love you so much that even if it's just the two of us for the rest of our lives, or we end up adopting more kids than the Waltons, that'll never change?"

Monica made a tiny noise as her head fell on his shoulder. "Yes...but...why can't I do anything that makes my parents happy?"

Chandler frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean-What if that does happen? That my parents don't see our baby as really their grandchild? What if they do, but it's still _my_ baby, so they don't love it as much as Ben and Emma? I don't want our baby feeling like they have to compete for affection."

"Then...we won't make them. I'm not an expert on parents, but I don't talk much to my parents because they're selfish and drove me to smoking in elementary school. Maybe...we keep that in mind if your family treats our baby differently?"

Monica sighed. "Maybe...yeah. It's just not fair..."

* * *

The fact that her parents came back wasn't a big surprise. Judy left her purse behind on the counter, so she kind of had to.

Chandler had gotten Monica into a game of hangman after dinner was cleaned up, and kicking his ass at the first round had cheered her up some. She had started grinning because he couldn't figure out what word was spelled blank-A-blank-blank-E-blank-S. It didn't have D, I, or N in it though, hence the head, torso, and one leg on the stick-figure.

Rachel had come by once, concerned. She gave Monica a hug when she heard her parents just sort of...left, on her, and offered to bring them back over. Monica just shook her head.

"I'll be alright. How's Emma?"

"Oh, you know, she's a baby. I don't think she knows her grandparents are there but she's happy as a calm to have anybody play peekaboo with her. Mon, honey, are you sure it's okay?"

Monica shrugged. "I don't know. I know I'm a little tired of feeling like a second-prize, and you know what they say about second place. You're just the first loser."

"Who says that?" Chandler blinked.

"I do: What's your next letter, Bing?"

Rachel gave Monica a little pat and then went back next door. Chandler couldn't prove it, (he was too busy losing, but it cheered Monica up so that was fine,) but suspected Rachel was the reason Jack Geller came back a little sooner than his wife did. And not to collect her purse, either. This was a little awkward because when they'd first decided to try for a baby, Jack had been...enthusiastically supportive. And graphic.

"Ah, Monica," he said, cutting into the game where Chandler _almost_ won with the word "pumpkin" and Monica was on her last leg. Literally. "You know that your mother and I love you, right? That just because...well we don't need grandchildren to love you."

Monica hesitated. "Didn't really seem like it, the way you left before you could mention it..."

"Oh. Really? Well, I thought you wanted a minute alone..." Jack looked around the kitchen. "Wow you clean up faster than your mother. And grandmother. That woman would snatch the plate from under your nose if you didn't eat fast enough, the first Thanksgiving I had dinner at her house, she actually-"

Judy was entering the apartment at the same time, and cut off the little anecdote by clearing her throat. "Jack?"

Monica stood up, so Chandler stood beside her. His hand found a way into hers as her father cut himself off with a shake of the head. "Right, right, ah, the point is that we love our little Harmonica, whether she's a mother or not."

"We already have a wonderful grandson and granddaughter, it would just be selfish to want more from you." Judy said. (Chandler couldn't tell if the woman was being positive or not, it was really hard to tell...)

"Well...about that," Monica squeezed his hand, standing up a little straighter. "Chandler and I were going to tell you, too, that we've talked over our options. We've decided to adopt, so I guess technically speaking-"

"Really!" Jack's eyes lit up. "Well you could have mentioned that instead of letting us ramble on about fertility treatments, my god! When? Or I guess I should say where? You know, Bill Waters' grandson is adopted! Maybe you oughta get in touch with them, I mean his son is a gay hairdresser, but maybe if you talked to them, Chandler-"

"Dad! He's not gay!"

"I'm just saying, it wouldn't hurt your chances if they don't know that, right?"

Monica looked like she was considering that. Chandler wondered how competitive adoption was and if he should be worried about it, but on the other hand, he'd do anything he could to help. As long as it was legal, because sometimes she could get a little...extreme. But still. It was all going to work out, he was sure of it. And if he was sure of it, it had to work out, and they were going to be great parents.

(And he was going to do everything in his power to make sure those children never, ever felt they had to win their parents love, _ever_.)

**Author's Note:**

> I probably didn't nail everyone's character right, but Monica and Chandler's relationship is important to me so I went for it.
> 
> I wrote this in Chandler's POV as the outsider looking in from Monica's side, and the title comes from the idea that he won't make Monica or their children feel they have to prove themselves to feel loved like her parents tend to do. I have a lot of personal feelings about the Gellers, they kind of reflect the relationship my mother (the Monica in this case,) has with her parents and brother. It's very frustrating to watch, and I don't have a lot of faith in Jack and Erica Bing getting the same attention Judy Geller seems happy to dote on baby Emma. Jack Geller seems to care for his daughter a little more, also not unlike my grandfather, but still...
> 
> Also: Ross can die of influenza.


End file.
